Talmud for Moed Katan 40:13

דתניא מי שמת חמיו או חמותו אינו רשאי לכוף את אשתו להיות כוחלת ולהיות פוקסת אלא כופה מטתו ונוהג עמה אבילות וכן היא שמת חמיה או חמותה אינה רשאה להיות כוחלת ולהיות פוקסת אלא כופה מטתה ונוהגת עמו אבילות

Do you desire', said he, 'to eat of mourners' fare? '<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Food provided by friends. Cf. infra ');">²²</span> They [the Sages] did not say that [one should observe formal mourning] out of deference to his wife only in the case of [the death of] his father-in-law or his mother-in-law,<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Cited in Samuel's name, J.M.K. III, 5.');">²³</span> as it is taught: 'If his father-in-law or mother-in-law died the husband may not compel his [mourning] wife to put on kohl or do her hair<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' I.e., to insist that she should keep up her personal appearance, instead of looking neglected and dejected when numerous callers come to condole with her; kohl was used for the eye-brows.');">²⁴</span>

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