Tosefta for Bava Batra 289:5

וחסורי מחסרא והכי קתני המארס את האשה בתולה גובה מאתים ואלמנה מנה בד"א דהדר ביה איהו אבל מתה מקום שנהגו להחזיר מחזירין מקום שנהגו שלא להחזיר אין מחזירין ודוקא שמתה היא אבל מת הוא אין מחזירין מאי טעמא יכולה היא שתאמר תנו לי בעלי ואשמח עמו

it [must] be returned; where it is the custom not to return the [token of] betrothal [it is] not [to be] returned; [these are] the words of R. Nathan. R. Judah the Prince said, in truth [the Sages] said: Where it is the custom to return, it [must] be returned; where it is the custom not to return, it [need] not [be] returned'. [Does not] R. Judah the Prince [say exactly the same thing] as the first Tanna: [Must it] not then [be explained]12 that [the difference] between them lies in [the admissibility of the plea]. 'Give me my husband and I will rejoice with him,' and that there is a lacuna [in the text] which should read13 thus: '[In the case where] a person betrothes a woman, [if] a virgin she is entitled to two hundred [zuz, and [to] a maneh [if] a widow. This applies only to the case where he has retracted but [if] she died, [the token of betrothal] is to be returned where it is the custom to return; where it is the custom not to return, it [need] not be returned — This, [furthermore.] applies only [to the case] where she died, but [where] he died.it [need] not [be] returned.' What is the reason? Because she can plead. 'Give me my husband and I will rejoice with him' And [with reference to this statement] R. Judah the Prince said14

Tosefta Pesachim

In a place where their custom is to return the betrothal money [if the betrothed man or woman died before the marriage was consummated], they return it. In a place where their custom is not to return the betrothal money, they do not return it. In a place where their custom is to stand up and sit down [for eulogies at a funeral], they stand up and sit down. In a place where their custom is to not do it, they do not do. [Even where the custom is to stand up and sit down for eulogies,] one does not stand up and sit down more than seven times. In a place where their custom is to greet mourners on the Sabbath, they greet them. In a place where their custom is not to greet, they do not greet. In a place where the custom is for the mourners to walk behind the dead [in a funeral procession], they walk [behind them]. In a place where the custom is to not walk, they do not walk. In a place where their custom is to light candles on Yom Kippur Eve, they light candles. In a place where their custom is not to light, they do not light. Rabbi Shimon ben Elazar says, we light [candles] in inns and in mikvehs [on Yom Kippur Eve]. Those of whom it was said "they light," and those of whom it was said, "they do not light," they only said it in order [that people not become] accustomed to sin.

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