Kiddushin 81

לא עלתה בידו אלא רגזנותא ולאדם טוב מטעימים אותו מפרי מעשיו וכל שאינו לא במקרא ולא במשנה ולא בדרך ארץ דור הנאה ממנו שנאמר (תהלים א, א) ובמושב לצים לא ישב מושבו מושב לצים

gains nothing but [the ill effect of] his temper;<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Leanness (Rashi) : had temper affects the health and the body becomes lean, but achieves nothing else!');">¹</span> but a good man is fed with the fruit of his deeds.

<br><br><big><strong>הדרן עלך האשה נקנית</strong></big><br><br>

And he who lacks Bible, Mishnah and worldly pursuits, vows not to benefit from him, as it is said: Nor sitteth in the seat of the scoffers:<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Ps. I, 1.');">²</span> his seat is the seat of scoffers.<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Lacking these three, he can do nothing else but scoff and be ribald.');">³</span>

מתני׳ <big><strong>האיש</strong></big> מקדש בו ובשלוחו האשה מתקדשת בה ובשלוחה האיש מקדש את בתו כשהיא נערה בו ובשלוחו

<big><b>MISHNAH: </b></big>A MAN CAN BETROTH [A WOMAN] THROUGH HIMSELF OR THROUGH HIS AGENT. A WOMAN MAY BE BETROTHED THROUGH HERSELF OR THROUGH HER AGENT.

<big><strong>גמ׳</strong></big> השתא בשלוחו מקדש בו מיבעיא אמר רב יוסף מצוה בו יותר מבשלוחו כי הא דרב ספרא מחריך רישא רבא מלח שיבוטא

A MAN MAY GIVE HIS DAUGHTER IN BETROTHAL WHEN A NA'ARAH [EITHER] HIMSELF OR THROUGH HIS AGENT. <big><b>GEMARA: </b></big>If he can betroth THROUGH HIS AGENT, is it necessary [to state] THROUGH HIMSELF? - Said R'Joseph: [This inclusion intimates that] it is more meritorious through himself than through his agent.

איכא דאמרי בהא איסורא נמי אית בה כדרב יהודה אמר רב דאמר רב יהודה אמר רב אסור לאדם שיקדש את האשה עד שיראנה שמא יראה בה דבר מגונה ותתגנה עליו ורחמנא אמר (ויקרא יט, יח) ואהבת לרעך כמוך

Even as R'Safra [himself] singed an [animal's] head,<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' In preparation for the Sabbath, though another could have done it for him.');">⁴</span> Raba salted shibbuta.<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Name of a fish, conjectured by Jast. to be mullet.');">⁵</span>

וכי איתמר דרב יוסף אסיפא איתמר האשה מתקדשת בה ובשלוחה השתא בשלוחה מיקדשא בה מיבעיא אמר רב יוסף מצוה בה יותר מבשלוחה כי הא דרב ספרא מחריך רישא רבא מלח שיבוטא

Some say that in this matter there is even a prohibition,<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Against appointing an agent when he can do it himself.');">⁶</span> in accordance with Rab Judah's dictum in Rab's name; for Rab Judah said in the name of Rab: A man may not betroth a woman before he sees her, lest he [subsequently] see something repulsive in her, and she become loathsome to him, whereas the All-Merciful said, but thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Lev. XIX, 18.');">⁷</span>

אבל בהא איסורא לית בה כדר"ל דאמר ר"ל טב למיתב טן דו מלמיתב ארמלו

And as to R'Joseph's statement,<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' That it is merely preferable, but there is no prohibition.');">⁸</span> it relates to the second clause: A WOMAN MAY BE BETROTHED THROUGH HERSELF OR THROUGH HER AGENT.

האיש מקדש את בתו כשהיא נערה כשהיא נערה אין כשהיא קטנה לא מסייע ליה לרב דאמר רב יהודה אמר רב ואיתימא רבי אלעזר אסור לאדם שיקדש את בתו כשהיא קטנה עד שתגדל ותאמר בפלוני אני רוצה

Now, if she can be betrothed through her agent, is it necessary [to state] through herself? - Said R'Joseph: [This inclusion intimates that] it is more meritorious through herself than through her agent. Even as R'Safra [himself] singed an [animal's] head; Raba salted shibbuta.

שליחות מנלן דתניא (דברים כד, א) ושלח מלמד שהוא עושה שליח

But there is no prohibition in this case,in accordance with Resh Lakish, who said: It is better to dwell with a load of grief than to dwell in widowhood.<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' V. supra p. 24, n. 7. I.e., for a woman even an unhappy marriage is better than singleness - hence there is no prohibition against being betrothed through a deputy.');">⁹</span> A MAN MAY GIVE HIS DAUGHTER IN BETROTHAL WHEN A NA'ARAH.

ושלחה מלמד שהיא עושה שליח ושלח ושלחה מלמד שהשליח עושה שליח

Only when a na'arah, but not when a minor: this supports Rab. For Rab Judah said in Rab's name: One may not give his daughter in betrothal when a minor, [but must wait] until she grows up and says: 'I want So-and-so'.

אשכחן בגירושין בקידושין מנלן וכ"ת דיליף מגירושין מה לגירושין שכן ישנן בעל כרחה אמר קרא (דברים כד, ב) ויצאה והיתה מקיש הויה ליציאה מה יציאה משוי שליח אף הויה נמי משוי שליח

Whence do we know [the principle of] agency?<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Lit., 'sending', i.e., that one can send another person to act on his behalf.');">¹⁰</span> - For it was taught: [When a man taketh a wife and.

ואלא הא דתנן האומר לשלוחו צא תרום תורם כדעת בעל הבית ואם אינו יודע דעת בעל הבית תורם בבינונית אחד מחמשים

she find no favour in his eyes. then he shall write her a bill of divorcement.] and he shall send [her of his house]:<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' V. Deut. XXIV, 1. vjka');">¹¹</span> this teaches that he may appoint an agent; then she shall send:<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Disregarding the mappik, which makes we-shillehah () the third pers. masc. with the pronominal suffix, and reading it as third pers. fem.');">¹²</span> this teaches that she may appoint an agent; then he shall send, then he shall send her:<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' 'Send' is stated twice, in vv. 1 and 3.');">¹³</span> this teaches that the agent can appoint an agent.<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Rashi: these deductions are made because Scripture should have written, then he shall divorce. 'Send' intimates that the husband or wife can send, i.e., appoint a person to act on their behalf.');">¹⁴</span> Now, we have thus found [the principle of agency] in divorce: how do we know it in respect to kiddushin? And should you answer that it is derived from divorce [by analogy]; [I would answer] as for divorce, [agency may operate] because it can take place against her [the wife's] consent?<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' But v. p. 35, n. 2.');">¹⁵</span> - Scripture saith, then she shall depart. and she shall be [another man's wife], thus assimilating marriage to divorce; just a an agent may be appointed for divorce, so may one be appointed for marriage. Now, as to what we learnt: If one instructs his agent.' Go forth and separate [terumah]': he must separate according to the owner's intentions;<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' By Biblical law there is no fixed standard for terumah. The Rabbis, however, ruled that on the average it is one fiftieth of the crops: a generous man gives one fortieth, and a mean person not less than one sixtieth.');">¹⁶</span> and if he does not know the owner's intentions, he must make an average separation, [viz. ,] one-fiftieth.