Moed Katan 42

מצוה שאני

- It is different in the case of a religious precept. [like phylacteries].<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Deut. VI, 8; XI. 18.');">¹</span>

ת"ר אבל ג' ימים הראשונים אסור במלאכה ואפילו עני המתפרנס מן הצדקה מכאן ואילך עושה בצינעא בתוך ביתו והאשה טווה בפלך בתוך ביתה

Our Rabbis taught: A mourner is forbidden, during the first three days [to do] work, even a poor man who receives maintenance from charity; thereafter he does [his work] privately, in his house: and a woman [in mourning] plies the spindle in her house. Our Rabbis taught: A mourner should not go during the first three days to a place of mourning;<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Lit., 'House of mourning', i.e., either to a private house or to the cemetery to attend a funeral. Cf. Sem. VI.');">²</span>

ת"ר אבל ג' ימים הראשונים אינו הולך לבית האבל מכאן ואילך הולך ואינו יושב במקום המנחמין אלא במקום המתנחמין

thereafter he may go but not take a place among the comforters, but among those who are [to be] comforted. Our Rabbis taught: A mourner is forbidden during the first three days to give greeting [of peace];<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Lit., 'enquire about his " peace"'="" (welfare)="" .="" e.g.,="" gen.="" xxix,="" 6="" and="" cf.="" supra="" p.="" 89,="" n.="" 10.');"="">³</span>

תנו רבנן אבל ג' ימים הראשונים אסור בשאילת שלום משלשה ועד שבעה משיב ואינו שואל מכאן ואילך שואל ומשיב כדרכו

after three and to seven [days], he responds but does not give greeting [of peace]; thereafter he gives greeting [of peace] and responds in his usual manner. [It is stated above] 'Forbidden during the first three days to give greeting of peace'.

שלשה ימים הראשונים אסור בשאילת שלום והתניא מעשה ומתו בניו של ר"ע נכנסו כל ישראל והספידום הספד גדול

But surely it was taught: It happened, when [two]<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Cf. D. note 7: probably during a plague.');">⁴</span> sons of R'Akiba, [bridegrooms],<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' So Sem. III, 6. The expression denotes that they died in the prime of life, under thirty years of age.');">⁵</span>

בשעת פטירתן עמד ר"ע על ספסל גדול ואמר אחינו בית ישראל שמעו אפי' שני בנים חתנים מנוחם הוא בשביל כבוד שעשיתם ואם בשביל עקיבא באתם הרי כמה עקיבא בשוק אלא כך אמרתם (תהלים לז, לא) תורת אלהיו בלבו וכ"ש ששכרכם כפול לכו לבתיכם לשלום

died, all Israel entered<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' The cemetery.');">⁶</span> and made a great lament for them, and as the people were about to depart, R'Akiba stood on a large bench<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' An improvised rostrum.');">⁷</span>

כבוד רבים שאני

and addressed them: Our brethren, the House of Israel, hear ye! Even though these two sons were 'bridegrooms',<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' V. p. 135 n. 8.');">⁸</span> I am<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' The text reads, 'He is consoled' by way of euphemism, to avoid an omen for one who reads or recounts this.');">⁹</span>

מג' ועד ז' משיב ואינו שואל מכאן ואילך שואל ומשיב כדרכו

consoled on account of the honour you have done [them].<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' By your presence.');">¹⁰</span> And even though you have come on account of Akiba, there is many an Akiba!<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' I.e., I am not so great a man as to be entitled to it all.');">¹¹</span>

ורמינהו המוצא את חבירו אבל בתוך ל' יום מדבר עמו תנחומין ואינו שואל בשלומו לאחר ל' יום שואל בשלומו ואינו מדבר עמו תנחומין

But this it is what you said [to yourselves]: The law of God is in his heart, [his footsteps will not falter].<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Ps. XXXVII, 31.');">¹²</span> All the more then, two-fold be your reward: Go home unto peace!'<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Thus R. Akiba tendered 'peace' to his audience on the very first day of mourning. Cf. Sem. VIII, where this incident among others is told at length.');">¹³</span>

מתה אשתו ונשא אשה אחרת אינו רשאי ליכנס לביתו לדבר עמו תנחומין מצאו בשוק אומר לו בשפה רפה ובכובד ראש

- Deference towards the public is a different matter. [It was stated above 'After three to seven [days]; he responds but does not give greeting [of peace]; thereafter, he gives greeting [of peace] and responds, in his usual manner'.

אמר רב אידי בר אבין הוא שואל בשלום אחרים שאחרים שרויין בשלום אחרים אין שואלין בשלומו שהוא אינו שרוי בשלום

Some contrasted this statement with the following: 'One who meets his fellow mourner within thirty days, tenders him [words of] consolation but enquires not about his peace; after the thirty days he enquires about his peace, but tenders him not [words of] consolation.<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Here ends the part that causes difficulty. The attempted reply follows later after the conclusion of the whole quotation.');">¹⁴</span> If his [friend's] wife had died and he married another [formally],<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' That is by betrothal within the thirty days of mourning: this is permitted for the sake of little children, left motherless; often it is the deceased wife's sister. He may thus marry her formally but is not to live with her as man and] wife till after the period of mourning is over. Generally a widower should wait till after the three Festivals - Passover, Weeks and Tabernacles have passed, before he marries again. Cf. infra, 23a.');">¹⁵</span>

והא מדקתני משיב מכלל דשיילינן ליה דלא ידעי

he is not allowed to call at his house to tender him [there,<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Not to embarrass the second wife.');">¹⁶</span> words of] consolation; if he meets him in the street he expresses [his condolence] to him in a low voice and with downcast looks!'<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Lit., 'with faint lip and heavy head', so as to avoid giving the impression of being cynical. l This Baraitha thus teaches that within the thirty days one may not greet a mourner, which is in opposition to the ruling of the former Baraitha that the mourner himself is permitted to exchange greetings once the seven days are over].');">¹⁷</span>

אי הכי התם נמי התם מודע להו ולא מהדר להו הכא לא צריך לאודועינהו

- Said R'Idi B'Abin: The mourner enquires about the peace of others [within his period of mourning]<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Within the thirty days.');">¹⁸</span> because others' are abiding in peace; others enquire not about the peace of the mourner, because he is not abiding in peace [but in sorrow].<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' [I.e., the two Baraithas are not contradictory: whereas the former teaches that the mourner may greet others within the thirty days, the latter forbids others to greet him within, that period.]');">¹⁹</span>

ורמינהו המוצא את חברו אבל בתוך י"ב חדש מדבר עמו תנחומין ואינו שואל בשלומו לאחר י"ב חדש שואל בשלומו ואינו מדבר עמו תנחומין אבל מדבר עמו מן הצד

But then, since it states [in the former Baraitha]: [After three to seven days] 'he responds.' , this not imply that others may enquire [about the mourner's peace]?<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' And thus the two Baraithas are still contradictory.');">²⁰</span> - Where they are unaware [of his bereavement].

א"ר מאיר המוצא את חברו אבל לאחר י"ב חדש ומדבר עמו תנחומין למה הוא דומה לאדם שנשברה רגלו וחיתה מצאו רופא ואמר לו כלך אצלי שאני שוברה וארפאנה כדי שתדע שסממנין שלי יפין

If so, does not the same apply also to the other earlier period?<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' I.e., during the first three days.');">²¹</span> - [No,] then<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' I.e., during the first three days.');">²¹</span>

לא קשיא הא באביו ואמו הא בשאר קרובים

he is obliged to acquaint them [of his sorrow] and makes no [further] response, whereas here<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' After three days.');">²²</span> he need not acquaint them [of it].

התם נמי ידבר עמו תנחומין מן הצד אין ה"נ ומאי אינו מדבר עמו תנחומין כדרכו אבל מדבר עמו מן הצד

Thereupon some contrasted [this latter Baraitha] with the following: One who meets another mourner within a twelvemonth tenders him [words of] consolation, but does not enquire about his 'peace';<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Whereas above it was ruled that after thirty days one may tender greetings.');">²³</span> after a twelvemonth, he enquires about his 'peace and does not tender him [words of] consolation, but may refer to his sorrow indirectly.<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Rashi: He merely utters a word of comfort without mentioning the name of the deceased.');">²⁴</span>

ת"ר אבל ג' ימים הראשונים בא ממקום קרוב מונה עמהן בא ממקום רחוק מונה לעצמו מכאן ואילך אפי' בא ממקום קרוב מונה לעצמו ר"ש אומר אפי' בא ביום השביעי ממקום קרוב מונה עמהן

Said R'Meir: If one meets another mourner after a twelvemonth and tenders him [then words of] consolation, to what can he be likened? To [the case of] a man who had his leg broken and healed when a physican met him and said to him, Come to me and let me break it and set it [again], to convince you that my medicaments are good? - This offers no diffculty: This last citation refers to [the death of] father or mother, while the former refers to [the death of] other near of kin.

אמר מר ג' ימים הראשונים בא ממקום קרוב מונה עמהן א"ר חייא בר אבא א"ר יוחנן והוא שיש גדול הבית בבית

But in that case<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' I.e., in the case of other near-of-kin to which the former Baraitha refers.');">²⁵</span> too, why not tender him [words of] consolation indirectly? - Yes indeed [he may], and what means: ['After thirty days he may] not tender him [words of] consolation' is, [not] in one's usual manner - but he refers to his sorrow indirectly.

איבעיא להו

Our Rabbis taught: A mourner who arrives home during the first three days from a place in the near vicinity, counts [his days of mourning] with them.<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' With the other members of the family.');">²⁶</span> If he came home from a distance, he counts on his own. Thereafter even if he came home from a place in the vicinity he counts on his own. R'Simeon says: Even if he came home on the seventh day from a place in the vicinity, he counts with them.<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' With the other members of the family.');">²⁶</span> The Master said: 'During the first three days from a place in the vicinity, he counts with them'. R'Hiyya b Abba, as citing R'Johanan said that this is done only where the chief person of the household was at home. The following question was then raised: