Nedarim 40

בניך יפיפין ביותר אמרה להן אינו מספר עמי לא בתחלת הלילה ולא בסוף הלילה אלא בחצות הלילה וכשהוא מספר מגלה טפח ומכסה טפח ודומה עליו כמי שכפאו שד

thy children so exceedingly beautiful? She replied: [Because] he [my husband] 'converses' with me neither at the beginning nor at the end of the night, but [only] at midnight; and when he 'converses', he uncovers a handbreadth and covers a hand breadth, and is as though he were compelled by a demon. And when I asked him, What is the reason for this [for choosing midnight], he replied, So that I may not think of another woman,<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' At the beginning of the night women are still going about in the streets; at the end, before morning, they are abroad again. ');">¹</span>

ואמרתי לו מה טעם ואמר לי כדי שלא אתן את עיני באשה אחרת ונמצאו בניו באין לידי ממזרות

lest my children be as bastards.<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Figuratively, of course. This shews that they did converse. ');">²</span>

לא קשיא הא במילי דתשמיש הא במילי אחרנייתא

— There is no difficulty: this refers to conjugal matters;<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' That are permitted. ');">³</span>

אמר רבי יוחנן זו דברי יוחנן בן דהבאי אבל אמרו חכמים אין הלכה כיוחנן בן דהבאי אלא כל מה שאדם רוצה לעשות באשתו עושה משל לבשר הבא מבית הטבח רצה לאוכלו במלח אוכלו צלי אוכלו מבושל אוכלו שלוק אוכלו וכן דג הבא מבית הצייד

the other refers to other matters.

אמר אמימר מאן מלאכי השרת רבנן דאי תימא מלאכי השרת ממש אמאי אמר רבי יוחנן אין הלכה כיוחנן בן דהבאי הא אינהו בקיאי בצורת הולד טפי ואמאי קרו להו מלאכי השרת דמצייני כמלאכי השרת

&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; R. Johanan said: The above is the view of R. Johanan b. Dahabai; but <font>our Sages said</font>: The <i>halachah</i> is not as R. Johanan b. Dahabai, but <font>a man may do whatever he pleases with his wife [at intercourse]:</font> A parable; <font>Meat which comes from the abattoir, may be eaten salted, roasted, cooked or seethed; so with fish from the fishmonger.</font><span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' [This parable serves to express the absence of reserve that may characterise the mutual and intimate relationship of husband and wife without offending the laws of chastity.] ');">⁴</span>

ההיא דאתאי לקמיה דרבי אמרה לו רבי ערכתי לו שולחן והפכו אמר לה בתי תורה התירתך ואני מה אעשה ליך ההיא דאתאי לקמיה דרב אמרה לו רבי ערכתי לו שולחן והפכו אמר מאי שנא מן ביניתא

Amemar said: Who are the 'Ministering Angels'? The Rabbis. For should you maintain it literally, why did R. Johanan say that the <i>halachah</i> is not as R. Johanan b. Dahabai, seeing that the angels know more about the formation of the fetus than we? And why are they designated 'Ministering Angels'? — Because they are as distinguished as they.<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Rashi (in Kid. 71a): they are distinguished in dress, being robed in white and turbaned; cf. passage a.l.: Shah. 25b. ');">⁵</span>

ולא תתורו אחרי לבבכם מכאן אמר רבי אל ישתה אדם בכוס זה ויתן עיניו בכוס אחר אמר רבינא לא נצרכא אלא דאפילו שתי נשיו

A woman once came before Rabbi and said, 'Rabbi! I set a table before my husband, but he overturned it.' Rabbi replied: 'My daughter! the Torah hath permitted thee to him — what then can I do for thee?' A woman once came before Rab and complained. <font>'Rabbi! I set a table before my husband, but he overturned it.' Rab replied; Wherein does it differ from a fish?</font><span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' V. supra. ');">⁶</span>

וברותי מכם המורדים והפושעים בי אמר רבי לוי אלו בני תשע מדות בני אסנ"ת משגע"ח

And that ye seek not after your own heart.<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Num. XV, 39. ');">⁷</span>

בני אימה בני אנוסה בני שנואה בני נידוי בני תמורה בני מריבה בני שכרות בני גרושת הלב בני ערבוביא בני חצופה

[Deducing] from this Rabbi taught: One may not drink out of one goblet and think of another.<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Whilst cohabiting with one woman to think of another. ');">⁸</span>

איני והאמר רבי שמואל בר נחמני אמר רבי יונתן כל אדם שאשתו תובעתו הויין לו בנים שאפילו בדורו של משה רבינו לא היו כמותם שנאמר הבו לכם אנשים חכמים ונבונים וכתיב ואקח את ראשי שבטיכם ולא כתיב נבונים

Rabina said: This is necessary only when both are his wives.

וכתיב יששכר חמור גרם וכתיב מבני יששכר יודעי בינה לעתים

And I will purge out from among you the rebels, and them that transgress against me.<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Ezek. XX, 38. ');">⁹</span>

ההיא דמרציא ארצויי:

R. Levi said: This refers to children belonging to the following nine categories: children of fear,<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' When a husband imposes himself upon his wife by force; Asheri reads: children of a maidservant ([H] instead of [H]); v. MGWJ 1934 p 136. n. 1. ');">¹⁰</span>

<br><br><big><strong>הדרן עלך ואלו מותרין</strong></big><br><br>

of outrage, of a hated wife, one under a ban,<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' A person under a ban was forbidden to cohabit. ');">¹¹</span>

מתני׳ <big><strong>ארבעה</strong></big> נדרים התירו חכמים נדרי זרוזין ונדרי הבאי ונדרי שגגות ונדרי אונסין נדרי זרוזין כיצד היה מוכר חפץ ואמר קונם שאיני פוחת לך מן הסלע והלה אומר קונם שאיני מוסיף לך על השקל

of a woman mistaken for another,<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Having intended to cohabit with one of his wives, he cohabited with another. ');">¹²</span> of strife,<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Not a hated wife, but one with whom he had just then quarrelled. ');">¹³</span> of intoxication [during intercourse], of a mentally divorced wife,<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' I.e., when her husband has decided to divorce her. ');">¹⁴</span> of promiscuity, and of a brazen woman.<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' One who openly demands her conjugal rights. ');">¹⁵</span> But that is not so: for did not R. Samuel b. Nahmani say in the name of R. Jonathan: One who is summoned to his marital duty by his wife will beget children such as were not to be found even in the generation of Moses? For it is said, Take you wise men, and understanding [and known among your tribes, and I will make them rulers over you];<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Deut. I. 13. ');">¹⁶</span> and it is written, So I took the chiefs of your tribes, wise men and known<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Ibid. I, 15. ');">¹⁷</span> but 'understanding' is not mentioned.<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' The Heb. [H] is here taken to denote the highest degree of wisdom — but such could not be found. ');">¹⁸</span> But it is also written, Issachar is a large-boned ass;<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Gen. XLIX, 14; cf. Gen. XXX. 16-18. The allusion is to the legend that Leah heard the braying of Jacob's ass, and so came out of the tent and said to Jacob, thou must come in unto me. She had thus demanded her conjugal rights. ');">¹⁹</span> whilst elsewhere it is written, And of the children of Issachar, which were men that had understanding of the titles?<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' I Chron. XII. 33; though such men were not to be found in the days of Moses. This was Leah's reward, thus proving that it is meritorious for a woman to demand her rights. ');">²⁰</span> — [It is virtuous] only when the wife ingratiates herself [with her husband].<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' She may shew her desires, as did Leah, who merely invited Jacob into her tent, but not explicitly demand their gratification. ');">²¹</span> <b><i>MISHNAH</i></b>. FOUR TYPES OF VOWS HAVE THE SAGES INVALIDATED;<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Lit., 'permitted'. ');">²²</span> VIZ., VOWS INCENTIVE, VOWS OF EXAGGERATION, VOWS IN ERROR, AND VOWS [BROKEN] UNDER PRESSURE.<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' This is explained infra 27a. ');">²³</span> VOWS INCENTIVE: E.G., IF ONE WAS SELLING AN ARTICLE AND SAID, KONAM THAT I DO NOT LET YOU HAVE IT FOR LESS THAN A SELA''; AND THE OTHER REPLIED, KONAM THAT I DO NOT GIVE YOU MORE THAN A <i>SHEKEL</i> —