Yevamot 126

מן החטא מקרי ליה רב יהודה לרב יצחק בריה (קהלת ז, כו) ומוצא אני מר ממות את האשה א"ל כגון מאן כגון אמך

from sin'. Rab Judah was reading with his son R. Isaac the Scriptural text, <i>And I find more bitter than death the woman</i>. When the latter asked him, 'Who, for instance'? — 'For instance, your mother'. But,<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' BaH inserts, 'it is not so'. ');">¹</span> surely, Rab Judah taught his son R. Isaac, 'A man finds happiness<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Or 'satisfaction', 'contentment'. ');">²</span> only with his first wife; for it is said, <i>Let thy fountain be blessed and have joy of the wife of thy youth'</i>;<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Prov. V, 18. ');">³</span>

והא מתני ליה רב יהודה לרב יצחק בריה אין אדם מוצא קורת רוח אלא מאשתו ראשונה שנאמר (משלי ה, יח) יהי מקורך ברוך ושמח מאשת נעוריך וא"ל כגון מאן כגון אמך מתקיף תקיפא ועבורי מיעברא במלה

and when the latter asked him, 'Who for instance?' [he answered:] 'For instance, your mother'!<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Sanh. 22b. Which is apparently contradictory to the former character attributed to her! ');">⁴</span> — She was indeed irascible but could be easily appeased with a kindly word.<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Cf. Jast. and Golds. ');">⁵</span> How is one to understand the term a 'bad wife'? Abaye said: One who prepares for him<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Her husband. ');">⁶</span> a tray<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' His meal. ');">⁷</span>

היכי דמי אשה רעה אמר אביי מקשטא ליה תכא ומקשטא ליה פומא רבא אמר מקשטא ליה תכא ומהדרא ליה גבא

and has her tongue<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Lit., 'mouth'. ');">⁸</span> also ready for him. Raba said: One who prepares for him<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Her husband. ');">⁶</span> the tray and turns her back upon him.<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Euphemism. ');">⁹</span> R. Hama b. Hanina stated: As soon as a man takes a wife his sins are buried;<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' [H] lit., 'stopped up'. ');">¹⁰</span>

אמר רבי חמא בר חנינא כיון שנשא אדם אשה עונותיו מתפקקין שנאמר (משלי יח, כב) מצא אשה מצא טוב ויפק רצון מה' במערבא כי נסיב אינש איתתא אמרי ליה הכי מצא או מוצא מצא דכתיב מצא אשה מצא טוב מוצא דכתיב ומוצא אני מר ממות את האשה

for it is said: <i>Whoso findeth a wife findeth a great good and obtaineth<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' [H] regarded to have the same meaning as [H] supra n. 7. ');">¹¹</span></i> favour of the Lord.<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Prov, XVIII, 22. ');">¹²</span> In the West,<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Palestine. ');">¹³</span> they used to ask a man who married, '<i>findeth</i> or <i>find</i>?'<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Hebr. Moze or Maza. ');">¹⁴</span>

אמר רבא אשה רעה מצוה לגרשה דכתיב (משלי כב, י) גרש לץ ויצא מדון וישבות דין וקלון ואמר רבא אשה רעה וכתובתה מרובה צרתה בצדה דאמרי אינשי בחברתה ולא בסילתא ואמר רבא קשה אשה רעה כיום סגריר שנאמר (משלי כז, טו) דלף טורד ביום סגריר ואשת מדינים נשתוה

<i>Findeth</i>, because it is written, <i>Whoso findeth a wife, findeth a great good</i>;<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Prov, XVIII, 22. ');">¹²</span> <i>Find</i>, because it is written, <i>And I find more bitter than death the woman</i>.<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Eccl. VII, 26. ');">¹⁵</span> Raba said: [If one has] a bad wife it is a meritorious act to divorce her,<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' [H] rt. [H] v. infra. ');">¹⁶</span> for it is said, <i>Cast out<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' [H] of the same rt. as supra n. 13. ');">¹⁷</span></i>

ואמר רבא בא וראה כמה טובה אשה טובה וכמה רעה אשה רעה כמה טובה אשה טובה דכתיב מצא אשה מצא טוב אי בגוה משתעי קרא כמה טובה אשה טובה שהכתוב משבחה אי בתורה משתעי קרא כמה טובה אשה טובה שהתורה נמשלה בה כמה רעה אשה רעה דכתיב ומוצא אני מר ממות את האשה אי בגוה משתעי קרא כמה רעה אשה רעה שהכתוב מגנה אי בגיהנם משתעי קרא כמה רעה אשה רעה שגיהנם נמשלה בה

the scoffer, and contention will go out; yea, strife and shame will cease.<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Prov. XXII, 10. ');">¹⁸</span> Raba further stated: A bad wife, the amount of whose <i>kethubah</i><span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' V. Glos. ');">¹⁹</span> is large,<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Which the husband, should he desire to divorce her, cannot afford to pay. ');">²⁰</span> [should be given] a rival at her side; as people say, 'By her partner rather than by a thorn'.<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' I.e., a bad wife is more easily corrected by subjecting her to the unpleasantness of a rival than by chastising her with thorns. ');">²¹</span>

(ירמיהו יא, יא) הנני מביא רעה אשר לא יוכלו לצאת ממנה אמר רב נחמן אמר רבה בר אבוה זו אשה רעה וכתובתה מרובה (איכה א, יד) נתנני ה' בידי לא אוכל קום אמר רב חסדא אמר מר עוקבא בר חייא זו אשה רעה וכתובתה מרובה במערבא אמרו זה שמזונותיו תלוין בכספו

Raba further stated: A bad wife is as troublesome as a very rainy day; for it is said, <i>A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike</i>.<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Prov. XXVII, 15. ');">²²</span> Raba further stated: Come and see how precious is a good wife and how baneful is a bad wife. 'How precious is a good wife', for it is written: <i>Whoso findeth a wife findeth a great good</i>.<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Prov, XVIII, 22. ');">¹²</span> Now, if Scripture speaks of the woman herself, then how precious is a good wife whom Scripture praises. If Scripture speaks of the Torah, then how precious is a good wife with whom the Torah is compared. 'How baneful is a bad wife', for it is written, <i>And I find more bitter than death the woman</i>.<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Eccl, VII, 26. ');">²³</span> Now, if Scripture speaks of herself, then how baneful is a bad wife whom Scripture censures. If Scripture speaks of Gehenna, then how baneful is a bad wife with whom Gehenna is compared.

(דברים כח, לב) בניך ובנותיך נתונים לעם אחר אמר רב חנן בר רבא אמר רב זו אשת האב (דברים לב, כא) בגוי נבל אכעיסם אמר רב חנן בר רבא אמר רב זו אשה רעה וכתובתה מרובה רבי אליעזר אומר אלו הצדוקים וכן הוא אומר (תהלים יד, א) אמר נבל בלבו אין אלהים וגו'

<i>Behold I will bring evil upon them, which they shall not be able to escape</i>.<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Jer. XI, 11. ');">²⁴</span> R. Nahman said in the name of Rabbah b. Abbuha: This refers to a bad wife, the amount of whose <i>kethubah</i><span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' V. Glos. ');">²⁵</span> is large.<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Which the husband, should he desire to divorce her, cannot afford to pay. ');">²⁶</span> <i>The Lord has delivered me into their hands against whom I am not able to stand</i>.<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Lam, I, 14. ');">²⁷</span>

במתניתא תנא אלו אנשי ברבריא ואנשי מרטנאי שמהלכין ערומים בשוק שאין לך משוקץ ומתועב לפני המקום יותר ממי שמהלך בשוק ערום רבי יוחנן אמר אלו חברים אמרו ליה לר' יוחנן אתו חברי לבבל שגא נפל אמרו ליה מקבלי שוחדא תריץ יתיב

R. Hisda said in the name of Mar 'Ukba b. Hiyya: This refers to a bad wife the amount of whose <i>kethubah</i><span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' V. Glos. ');">²⁵</span> is large.<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Which the husband, should he desire to divorce her, cannot afford to pay. ');">²⁶</span> In the West<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Palestine. ');">²⁸</span> it was said: This refers to one whose maintenance depends on his money.<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Having no land of his own from which to obtain his food, he is subject to the extortionate prices of unscrupulous dealers upon whom he must depend for the supply of his daily food. ');">²⁹</span>

גזרו על ג' מפני ג' גזרו על הבשר מפני המתנות גזרו על המרחצאות מפני הטבילה

<i>Thy sons and thy daughter's shall be given unto another people</i>.<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Deut. XXVIII, 32. ');">³⁰</span> R. Hanan b. Raba stated in the name of Rab: This refers to one's father's wife.<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' A stepmother. ');">³¹</span> <i>I will provoke them with a vile<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' [H]. ');">³²</span></i> nation.<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Deut. XXXII, 21. ');">³³</span>

קא מחטטי שכבי מפני ששמחים ביום אידם שנאמר (שמואל א יב, טו) והיתה יד ה' בכם ובאבותיכם אמר רבה בר שמואל זו חטוטי שכבי דאמר מר בעון חיים מתים מתחטטין

R. Hanan b. Raba stated in the name of Rab: This refers to a bad wife the amount of whose <i>kethubah</i><span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' V. Glos. ');">²⁵</span> is large.<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Which the husband, should he desire to divorce her, cannot afford to pay. ');">³⁴</span> R. Eliezer stated: This refers to the Sadducees;<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Bomberg ed., Minim, 'heretics'. ');">³⁵</span> for so it is said, <i>The fool<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' [H]. ');">³²</span></i>

א"ל רבא לרבה בר מארי כתיב (ירמיהו ח, ב) לא יאספו ולא יקברו לדומן על פני האדמה יהיו וכתיב (ירמיהו ח, ג) ונבחר מות מחיים אמר ליה נבחר מות לרשעים שלא יחיו בעולם הזה ויחטאו ויפלו בגיהנם

has said in his heart: 'There is no God' etc.<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Ps. XIV, 1. ');">³⁶</span> In a Baraitha it was taught: This refers to the people of Barbaria<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Tunis. ');">³⁷</span> and the people of Mauretania<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Britannia? v. Jast. ');">³⁸</span> who go naked in the streets; for there is nothing more objectionable and abominable to the Omnipresent than the man who goes naked in the streets. R. Johanan said: This refers to the Parsees.<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' The followers of an expanded Zoroastrian ritual who, under the guidance of the Magians, in the reign of Ardashir I (226-241), severely oppressed the adherents of other creeds. ');">³⁹</span>

כתוב בספר בן סירא אשה טובה מתנה טובה לבעלה וכתיב טובה בחיק ירא אלהים תנתן אשה רעה צרעת לבעלה מאי תקנתיה יגרשנה ויתרפא מצרעתו אשה יפה אשרי בעלה מספר ימיו כפלים

When R. Johanan was informed that the Parsees<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' V. p. 424, n. 17. ');">⁴⁰</span> had come to Babylon, he reeled and fell.<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Knowing as he did their intolerance and cruel religious fanaticism. ');">⁴¹</span> When however he was told that they accepted bribes he recovered<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Lit., 'made (himself) straight'. ');">⁴²</span> and sat down again.<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' All hope, he felt, was not lost when concessions might be obtained by paying for them. ');">⁴³</span>

העלם עיניך מאשת חן פן תלכד במצודתה אל תט אצל בעלה למסוך עמו יין ושכר כי בתואר אשה יפה רבים הושחתו ועצומים כל הרוגיה רבים היו פצעי רוכל המרגילים לדבר ערוה כניצוץ מבעיר גחלת ככלוב מלא עוף כן בתיהם מלאים מרמה

They<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' The Parsees who were accepted by Israel as a visitation sent by the divine will for their neglect of the Torah and its commandments. ');">⁴⁴</span> issued three decrees as a punishment for three [transgressions]:<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Of Israel in Babylon. ');">⁴⁵</span> They decreed against [ritually prepared] meat,<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Under a decree that any animal killed for human consumption must not be eaten unless certain parts of it were first offered on the Parsee altars, Jews were practically excluded from the eating of meat. ');">⁴⁶</span> because the priestly gifts<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Prescribed in Deut. XVIII, 3. ');">⁴⁷</span>

אל תצר צרת מחר כי לא תדע מה ילד יום שמא מחר בא ואיננו נמצא מצטער על העולם שאין שלו מנע רבים מתוך ביתך ולא הכל תביא ביתך רבים יהיו דורשי שלומך גלה סוד לאחד מאלף

[were neglected]. They decreed against the use of baths, because ritual bathing [was not observed]. They exhumed the dead,<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' One of the religious laws of the Parsees forbade the pollution of the earth by the burial of corpses. As a result, the graves in the Jewish cemeteries were broken open, and the dead exhumed and thrown to the beasts and birds of prey. ');">⁴⁸</span> because rejoicings were held on the days of their<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' The idolaters'. ');">⁴⁹</span> festivals; as it is said, Then shall the hand of the Lord be against you, and against your fathers,<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' I Sam, XII, 15. ');">⁵⁰</span> and Rabbah b. Samuel said that that<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' The hand of the Lord against the fathers who were no more alive. ');">⁵¹</span>

אמר רבי אסי אין בן דוד בא עד שיכלו כל הנשמות שבגוף שנאמר (ישעיהו נז, טז) כי רוח מלפני יעטוף ונשמות אני עשיתי תניא רבי אליעזר אומר כל מי שאין עוסק בפריה ורביה כאילו שופך דמים שנאמר (בראשית ט, ו) שופך דם האדם באדם דמו ישפך וכתיב בתריה ואתם פרו ורבו

referred to the exhumation of the dead, for the Master said, 'For the sins of the living the dead are exhumed'. Said Raba to Rabbah b. Mari: It is written, They shall not be gathered, nor be buried, they shall be for dung upon the face of the earth,<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Jer. VIII, 2. ');">⁵²</span> but it is also written,<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Immediately following this text. ');">⁵³</span> <i>And death shall be chosen rather than life</i>!<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Jer. VIII, 3. How could it be said that such an ignominious death as described (ibid. 2) would be chosen rather than life? ');">⁵⁴</span>

רבי יעקב אומר כאילו ממעט הדמות שנאמר (בראשית ט, ו) כי בצלם אלהים עשה את האדם וכתיב בתריה ואתם פרו וגו' בן עזאי אומר כאילו שופך דמים וממעט הדמות שנאמר ואתם פרו ורבו

— The other replied: <i>'Death shall be chosen'</i> for the wicked, in order that they may not live in this world and thus sin and fall into Gehenna.<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' The choice of death will not be made, as was assumed, by the sufferers. It is the prophet's oracle on the destiny of the wicked. ');">⁵⁵</span> It is written in the book of Ben Sira: —<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Ecclesiasticus, ');">⁵⁶</span> A good wife is a precious gift;<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' So BaH. Cur. edd. add, 'to her husband; and it is written, good'. ');">⁵⁷</span> she will be put in the bosom of the God-fearing man.<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Cf. Ecclesiasticus XXVI, 3. ');">⁵⁸</span>

אמרו לו לבן עזאי יש נאה דורש ונאה מקיים נאה מקיים ואין נאה דורש ואתה נאה דורש ואין נאה מקיים אמר להן בן עזאי ומה אעשה שנפשי חשקה בתורה אפשר לעולם שיתקיים על ידי אחרים

A bad wife is a plague to her husband. What remedy has he? — Let him give her a letter of divorce and be healed of his plague. A beautiful wife is a joy to her husband;<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Lit., 'happy is her husband'. Cf. Ps. I, 1. ');">⁵⁹</span> the number of his days shall be double.<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Cf. Ecclesiasticus XXVI, 1. Every happy day is as good as two (v. Rashi). ');">⁶⁰</span> Turn away thy eyes from [thy neighbour's] charming wife lest thou be caught in her net. Do not turn in to her husband to mingle with him wine and strong drink; for, through the form of a beautiful woman, many were destroyed and a mighty host are all her slain.<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Cf. Ben Sira (Ben Zeeb ed.) IX, 8, 10, 11. ');">⁶¹</span>

תניא אידך רבי אליעזר אומר כל מי שאין עוסק בפריה ורביה כאילו שופך דמים שנאמר שופך דם האדם וסמיך ליה ואתם פרו וגו' רבי אלעזר בן עזריה אומר כאילו ממעט הדמות בן עזאי אומר וכו' אמרו לו לבן עזאי יש נאה דורש וכו'

Many were the wounds of the spice-peddler,<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' His business of selling spices and perfumes to women leads him to much temptation. ');">⁶²</span> which lead him on to lewdness like a spark that lights the coal.<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Cf. Ben Sira (Ben Zeeb ed.) IX suppl. to v. 12. ');">⁶³</span> As a cage is full of birds so are [the harlots'] houses full of deceit.<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Cf. Jer. V, 27 and op. cit., second suppl. loc. cit, ');">⁶⁴</span> Do not worry about to-morrow's trouble, for thou knowest not what the day may beget. To-morrow may come and thou<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Lit., 'he'. ');">⁶⁵</span>

ת"ר (במדבר י, לו) ובנחה יאמר שובה ה' רבבות אלפי ישראל

wilt be no more and so thou hast worried about a world which is not thine.<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Lit., 'his'. Cf. Ben Sira, op. cit., XXX, 23. 24. ');">⁶⁶</span> Keep away many from thy house; and do not bring everyone into thy house. Many be they that seek thy welfare; reveal thy secret only to one of a thousand. R. Assi stated: The son of David<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' The Messiah, ');">⁶⁷</span> will not come before all the souls in Guf<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Lit., 'body', the region inhabited by the unborn souls. ');">⁶⁸</span> are disposed of; since it is said, <i>For the spirit that enwrappeth itself is from Me, and the souls which I have made</i>.<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Isa LVII, 16. The previous section of the verse speaks of the redemption (Rashi). Hence the deduction that the redemption that is to come through the Messiah will not take place before all the unborn souls have been made, i.e., passed through the life of this world. ');">⁶⁹</span> It was taught: R. Eliezer stated, He who does not engage in propagation of the race is as though he sheds blood; for it is said, <i>Whoso sheddeth man's blood by man shall his blood be shed</i>,<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Gen. IX, 6. ');">⁷⁰</span> and this is immediately followed by the text, <i>And you, be ye fruitful and multiply</i>.<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Gen. IX, 7. ');">⁷¹</span> R. Jacob said: As though he has diminished the Divine Image; since it is said, <i>For in the image of God made he man</i>,<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Ibid. 6. ');">⁷²</span> and this is immediately followed by, <i>And you, be ye fruitful</i> etc.<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Gen. IX, 7. ');">⁷¹</span> Ben 'Azzai said: As though he sheds blood <i>and</i> diminishes the Divine Image; since it is said,<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' After both Whoso sheddeth man's blood and In the image of God made he man. (Gen. IX, 6). ');">⁷³</span> <i>And you, be ye fruitful and mutltiply</i>.<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Gen. IX, 7. ');">⁷¹</span> They said to Ben 'Azzai: Some preach well and act well, others act well but do not preach well; you. however, preach well but do not act well!<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' He remained a bachelor. ');">⁷⁴</span> Ben 'Azzai replied: But what shall I do, seeing that my soul is in love with the Torah; the world can be carried on by others. Another [Baraitha] taught: R. Eliezer said, Anyone who does not engage in the propagation of the race is as though he sheds blood; For it is said, <i>Whoso sheddeth mans's blood</i>,<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Ibid. 6. ');">⁷²</span> and close upon it follows, <i>And you, be ye fruitful</i> etc.<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Gen. IX, 7. ');">⁷¹</span> R. Eleazar b. Azariah said: As though he diminished the Divine Image. Ben 'Azzai said etc.<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' V. supra. ');">⁷⁵</span> They said to Ben 'Azzai: Some preach well etc.<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' V. supra. ');">⁷⁵</span> Our Rabbis taught: And when it rested, he said: 'Return O Lord unto the ten thousands and<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' E.V. 'of the'. ');">⁷⁶</span> thousands of Israel',<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Num. X, 36. ');">⁷⁷</span>