Musar על יבמות 125:16

If so, it is fitting for a person to practice this approach. If he sees a person doing evil to him and angering him - if there is a good side to [that person], that he does good to others or [has] a good trait that he practice appropriately, that side should suffice for him to nullify his anger from upon him. And his heart [should] be appeased about him; and he [should] desire kindness and say, "It is enough for me with this goodness that he has." And all the more so [is this the case] with his wife; as our Rabbis explained (Yevamot 63a), "It is enough that they raise our children, and save us from sin." So should he say about every person, "It is enough for me with x goodness that he did for me," or "that he did with y," or "[with the] good trait z that he has." He will [hence] be desiring kindness.

The ninth category is he who tells a story that he has heard, but he changes some of the narrative as he likes. Now there is no loss to any man in this, but he receives a bit of pleasure out of his lying, even though he does not gain any money out of it. For example (Yebamoth 63a), Rav would say to his wife, "Make me lentils," and she would make him peas — and whenever he would say to her, "Make me peas!" she would make lentils. Hiya, his son, went and reversed the matter. Whenever his father wanted peas, he would tell his mother, "Make lentils!" and she would make peas, and this the son did out of honor for his father, in order that there should be prepared for him the food that he wanted. Even so, Rav restrained him and persuaded him not to do this any more, because, "They have taught their tongue to speak lies" (Jer. 9:4). But the guilt in such a falsehood is not like the guilt of those who lie for no reason at all as we have mentioned in the fourth category.

This enables us to see important allusions to future events in these words. At this time, when Jacob went out to get married, he alluded to the deeper meaning of the union of man and woman, which is extolled as something that, in the future, will even provide joy for G–d Himself. We know this from Isaiah 62,5. In Yevamot 61, Rabbi Yossi is reported to have met Elijah and to have asked him about the meaning of the word כנגדו in Genesis 2,18 which reports G–d as saying: אעשה לו עזר כנגדו, "I shall make for him (Adam) as helpmate kenegdo." Rabbi Yossi wanted to know in what way a woman can help man do something he is not able to do himself. Elijah asked: "When a man brings home wheat, does the wheat grind itself? When a man brings home flax, does the flax convert itself into a garment? Do you not realize that a woman makes a man's eyes light up? Does she not put him on his feet?" Elijah's answer was an appropriate one to point out woman's role in our world. In the future, however, everything will be ready-made for man, as we have learned in Shabbat 30. What is woman's role then? [The Talmud describes hot rolls and other delicacies as being served up for man without any human input being required. The finest garments would also be available without the need for tailors, seamstresses, spinners, etc.] Jacob's references to לחם לאכול, ובגד ללבוש, referred to the time when man would not have to work for a living, when all the tedium associated with our present lives would be removed. He meant that bread would be "ready to eat, clothes ready to wear." I have already outlined that Jacob's marriages, which produced the twelve tribes, are an allusion to the eventual union between G–d and Israel. These considerations explain Jacob's choice of words.