Commentary for Berakhot 35:13

TOMORROW, [THEY WILL] COME TO [BE BURIED WITH] US, AND NOW [THEY ARE] INSULTING US. The Gemara says that the dead are upset with the living who are showing that they, the living, are obligated to keep the mitzvos while the dead have no mitzvos. Tosfos will begin a lengthy discussion about this particular ruling and why it has changed over the generations. The underlying ruling is based on the verse “ridiculing a poor man embarrasses him”. The Rabbis understand that the “poor man”, is one who can no longer perform mitzvos, the dead. He is embarrassed by his inability to perform the mitzvos. When one walks with tzizis dragging on his grave, the deceased is upset.
Tosfos asks: This Gemara that teaches us that the dead are upset when the living wear tzitzis near their graves is bewildering. For the Gemara says in perek Hat’chailes (M’nochos 41a), in a discussion of whether one is required to have tzitzis on garments that are to be used for burial, that at that time, when one is actually buried, we certainly put them on for him. The explanation: we place tzitzis on their talisos because of the verse of “ridiculing the poor man”. It seems that precisely for this reason, that the dead should not be upset that they have no tzitzis we do place tzitzis on their garments. If so, how can the Gemara say here that when we wear tzitzis near their graves they are upset?
Tosfos answers: And we can answer: that this is the explanation here in our Gemara. Even though the dead also have tzitzis on their shrouds as we see from the Gemara in M’nochos, they are embarrassed by the fact that the living are obligated to perform the mitzvos and the dead are not obligated to perform the mitzvos, and one who is obligated to perform a mitzvo is greater than one who is not obligated to perform a mitzvo. See Bovo Kamo 38a. This inherent difference between the living and the dead is a source of anguish for the dead.
Tosfos is satisfied with this answer. However, he has a difficulty understanding why we do not follow the Gemara in M’nochos that clearly says we should put tzitzis on the shrouds of the dead.¹Literally שנא ומאי means: and what is the difference? Maharsho emends the text to read טעמא ומאי, and what is the reason? And this is difficult. That Gemara in Hat’chailes says that we should put strings, tzitzis, for the garments of the dead, and now we remove the tzitzis from their shrouds. And what is the reason for this?
Tosfos explains that this custom of removing the tzitzis from the dead reflects a change in the general practice of wearing tzitzis in the times of Rabainu Tam as compared to the practice during the times of the Gemara. According to Torah law one is required to wear tzitzis only when he is wearing a four cornered garment. During the times of the Gemara it was customary to wrap oneself with a four cornered garment. During the times of Rabainu Tam, the Jews of Europe did not generally wear a four cornered garment. Rather, as we do today, they put on a special Talis for prayer so that they could fulfill the Mitzvo, but this was not part of their regular dress.
Rabainu Tam says: that the Gemara in M’nochos that requires that we put tzitzis on the shrouds of the dead is exclusively for them, who lived in the times of the Gemara, who usually during their lifetime all wore a Talis of four corners and wore tzitzis on those talisos, and also all those involved in taking care of the needs of the dead had tzitzis, and in that situation it would be ridiculing “a poor man” if they, the deceased, had no tzitzis. Or perhaps because it is written that the mitzvo of tzitzis is לדורתם for their generations. On the simplest level this means that the mitzvo applies for all future generations. However the world לדורתם is spelled with only one “vov” before the “ר”, the “vov” after the “ר” is omitted. It is as if we read the word תם לדור, for a perfect generation, i.e. those who always fulfilled the mitzvo should have tzitzis on their garments for all time. Those who did not fulfill the mitzvo full time should not have tzitzis on their garments for all time.
However, we who even during our lives it is not our custom to constantly wear tzitzis, if we would place tzitzis for the dead, that would be ridiculing the “poor man”, since we would be treating them as if they always wore tzitzis during their lifetime when they actually did not.
This reason explains why we do not put tzitzis on the shrouds of those who did not constantly wear tzitzis during their lifetime, but what about those who did? And if you should say that we should place tzitzis on the shrouds of those who did wear tzitzis constantly during their lifetimes? If we were to do so, then it would be a case of “ridiculing the poor man” for others who did not constantly wear tzitzis during their lifetime.
Rabainu Tam suggests another possible reason that we do not put tzitzis on shrouds. And furthermore, Rabainu Tam says, that he heard from the people of Lozere that we remove the tzitzis from shrouds because the word ציצית comes to a numeric value of six hundred thirteen, the word itself equals six hundred,²צ=90, י=10, צ=90, י=10, ת=400, total = 600. together with the eight strings and five knots. And if one wears tzitzis when in the grave it appears as if he fulfilled all of the Torah and that seems like a falsehood. It is an unpleasant situation when we testify that a person fulfilled all the mitzvos during his lifetime and he really did not.
Rabainu Tam rejects this idea. And this is not clear. For if that were the reason we do not put tzitzis on shrouds then even the living nowadays are subject to the same rationale. Why do they wear tzitzis, they did not fulfill the entire Torah? There are many mitzvos related to the temple service and the laws that apply only in Eretz Yisroel that we cannot fulfill. Since the living, do wear tzitzis even though they do not fulfill all of the mitzvos, the dead could also have tzitzis on their shrouds even though they did not fulfill all the mitzvos during their lifetime.
Up until this point we have been searching for reasons why the ruling of the Gemara in M’nochos does not apply to us. Now Rabainu Tam presents a source in Chazal for our custom. However, we can say that we rely on Maseches S’mochos (perek 12) which relates that Abbo Shoul, a Tano, commanded his sons that they should remove his t’chailes, tzitzis, from his garment. We see that even during the times of the Tanoim there were those who held that we should not leave tzitzis on shrouds.
This source from Maseches S’mochos is questionable. Those small M’sechtos, printed in our Gemara after Maseches Sanhedrin, are referred to as the “outside s’forim”. They are not included in the Talmud. Rabainu Tam must show us that they can be used as a source for our customs even though they are not part of the Talmud. And even though the Gemara in M’nochos 41a argues with him, Abbo Shoul, there are certain areas of halacha where we depart from our Gemara and we do as in the outside s’forim.
One example of where we follow the outside s’forim: For example the reading of the Haftorah חזון ישעיה that we always read on the Shabos before the ninth of Ov as is taught by the P’sikta, whereas in our G’mara it is only read on Shabos Rosh Chodesh Ov.
A second example of where we follow the outside s’forim: And also for example the reading of ויחל, that in the Gemara we find (M’giloh 31a) that on a fast day we read the blessings and the curses of B’chukosai, and in Maseches Sofrim it says that we read ויחל, which is what we do. We see that in these two instances we follow the outside s’forim. So too, as far as removing the tzitzis from shrouds, we follow the outside s’forim.
Tosfos presents another opinion about this issue: And the Ritzva customarily did not remove the tzitzis from the corners of the garment of the dead; rather he tied and fastened them to the corner, within the corner³Perhaps there was a pocket on the corner as we sometimes find on the tzitzis manufactured today. in order to keep himself away from of an argument. His rationale was that if they are obligated to have tzitzis, they do have tzitzis, albeit they are not hanging as tzitzis ordinarily do. And if they are not obligated to have tzitzis, they are covered by the pocket.

"Upon the graves" is added by M. The "fringes" are the Sisit attached to the corners of the garment.