Commentary for Kiddushin 11:13
ואי לאו דעסוקין באותו ענין מנא ידעה מאי קאמר לה אמר אביי מענין לענין באותו ענין
shall we say, that he was not speaking to her about her divorce or kiddushin,<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' ['Divorce' is mentioned here merely incidentally as part of a current phrase 'ashggarath lashon'. The text of Tosaf. Ri did not seem to have it.]');"><sup>18</sup></span> how does she know what he means?<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Even if these terms imply kiddushin, she may not know that he intends them in that sense: consequently her consent is lacking.');"><sup>19</sup></span>
Daf Shevui to Kiddushin
There is a tannaitic dispute as to whether they actually have to be talking about betrothal or divorce for the act to be valid without an explicit statement. But R. Elazar holds that they don’t even need to be talking about the betrothal or divorce. But this seems perplexing—how does she know what he’s doing? Abaye explains that the betrothal or divorce is valid only if they were at least talking somewhat about the matter.
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