Commentary for Kiddushin 60:10
בשלמא בנו בידו אלא בתו בידו היא הכי קאמר להו ניתן לה מידי ולבשייה ונכסייה כי היכי דקפצו עלה אינשי
saith the Lord,' and like a hammer that breaketh the rock in pieces?<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Jer. XXIII, 29.');"><sup>23</sup></span> If he is of stone, he will dissolve, for it is written: Ho, everyone that thirsteth, come ye to the waters;<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Isa. LV, 1; i.e., the Torah.');"><sup>24</sup></span> and it is said: The waters wear the stones.<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Job XIV, 19.');"><sup>25</sup></span>
Daf Shevui to Kiddushin
A father can find a wife for his son, and, the Talmud seems to assume, force his son to marry the woman. But a father cannot really force another man to marry his daughter. But what he can do is provide her with a good-sized dowry, clothes and help make her attractive so that men will want to marry her. In the ancient world, where decisions on marriage were made by parents for practical reasons, there is no doubt that this was a primary consideration in choosing a spouse.
This notion of how parents marry off their children may be somewhat antiquated, but I still think that this is what parents essentially do. They try to provide their children with education and other opportunities so that they will be able to go out into the world, choose for themselves a spouse and start their own families. As someone who has two children who (hopefully) in the next ten years will be in the marriage market, I can testify that I do think about this a lot. What can I do to help my children be most prepared for starting their lives in the real world, including finding partners with whom to build their lives.
This notion of how parents marry off their children may be somewhat antiquated, but I still think that this is what parents essentially do. They try to provide their children with education and other opportunities so that they will be able to go out into the world, choose for themselves a spouse and start their own families. As someone who has two children who (hopefully) in the next ten years will be in the marriage market, I can testify that I do think about this a lot. What can I do to help my children be most prepared for starting their lives in the real world, including finding partners with whom to build their lives.
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