Kiddushin 60

(משלי ז, ד) אמור לחכמה אחותי את וגו' ואומר (משלי ז, ג) קשרם על אצבעותיך כתבם על לוח לבך ואומר (תהלים קכז, ד) כחצים ביד גבור כן בני הנעורים ואומר (תהלים קכ, ד) חצי גבור שנונים ואומר (תהלים מה, ו) חציך שנונים עמים תחתיך יפלו ואומר (תהלים קכז, ה) אשרי הגבר אשר מלא את אשפתו מהם לא יבושו כי ידברו את אויבים בשער

say unto wisdom, Thou art my sister;<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Prov. VII, 4; be as clear in your wisdom - i.e., learning - as in the knowledge that your sister is interdicted to you. Or possibly the deduction is from the second half of the verse: and call understanding thy familiar friend - i.e., be fully versed and familiar therein.');">¹</span> and it is also said, Bind them upon thy fingers; write them upon the table of thine heart;<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Prov. VII, 3.');">²</span> and it is also said: As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man, so are the children of thy youth;<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' The disciples, Ps. CXXVII, 4.');">³</span>

מאי את אויבים בשער אמר רבי חייא בר אבא אפי' האב ובנו הרב ותלמידו שעוסקין בתורה בשער אחד נעשים אויבים זה את זה ואינם זזים משם עד שנעשים אוהבים זה את זה שנאמר (במדבר כא, יד) את והב בסופה אל תקרי בסופה אלא בסופה

and it is also said, sharp arrows of the mighty;<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' The scholars, Ibid. CXX, 4.');">⁴</span> and it is also said: Thine arrows are sharp; the peoples fall under thee;<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Ps. XLV, 6.');">⁵</span> and it is also said: Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them; They shall not be ashamed, when they speak with their enemies in the gate.<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' PS. CXXVII, 5.');">⁶</span>

ת"ר (דברים יא, יח) ושמתם סם תם נמשלה תורה כסם חיים משל לאדם שהכה את בנו מכה גדולה והניח לו רטיה על מכתו ואמר לו בני כל זמן שהרטיה זו על מכתך אכול מה שהנאתך ושתה מה שהנאתך ורחוץ בין בחמין בין בצונן ואין אתה מתיירא ואם אתה מעבירה הרי היא מעלה נומי

What is meant by 'with their enemies in the gate'? - Said R'Hiyya B'Abba, Even father and son, master and disciple, who study Torah at the same gate<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' I.e., at the same academy. Alternatively, in the same subject. cvu cvt');">⁷</span> become enemies of each other; yet they do not stir from there until they come to love each other, for it is written, [Wherefore it is said it, the book of the wars of the Lord,] love<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' , connected by a play on words with , to love.');">⁸</span> is be-sufah;<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Num. XXI, 24.');">⁹</span>

כך הקב"ה אמר להם לישראל בני בראתי יצר הרע ובראתי לו תורה תבלין ואם אתם עוסקים בתורה אין אתם נמסרים בידו שנאמר (בראשית ד, ז) הלא אם תטיב שאת

read not 'be-sufah' but 'be-sofah'.<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' 'At the end thereof.' 'The book of the wars of the Lord' - i.e., disputations on Biblical interpretation - eventually leads to love.');">¹⁰</span> Our Rabbis taught: We-samtem<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Deut. XI, 18: Therefore shall ye lay up (we-samtem) these my words etc.');">¹¹</span> [reads] sam tam [a perfect remedy].

ואם אין אתם עוסקין בתורה אתם נמסרים בידו שנא' לפתח חטאת רובץ ולא עוד אלא שכל משאו ומתנו בך שנאמר ואליך תשוקתו ואם אתה רוצה אתה מושל בו שנאמר ואתה תמשל בו

This may be compared to a man who struck his son a strong blow, and then put a plaster on his wound, saying to him, 'My son! As long as this plaster is on your wound you can eat and drink at will, and bathe in hot or cold water, without fear. But if you remove it, it will break out into sores.' Even so did the Holy One, blessed be He, speak unto Israel: 'My children! I created the Evil Desire,<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Thus Cain defended himself for murdering Abel by arguing that God himself had implanted the evil desire in him (Tan., Bereshit, 25, ed. Buber, p. 10) . It is generally understood as man's evil impulses. Occasionally it is personified, as here, and identified with Satan (B.B. 16a) ; on the other hand, in Ber. ');">¹²</span>

ת"ר קשה יצר הרע שאפילו יוצרו קראו רע שנאמר (בראשית ח, כא) כי יצר לב האדם רע מנעוריו אמר רב יצחק יצרו של אדם מתחדש עליו בכל יום שנאמר (בראשית ו, ה) רק רע כל היום

but I [also] created the Torah, as its antidote; if you occupy yourselves with the Torah, you will not be delivered into his hand, for it is said: If thou doest well,<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' I.e., engagest in the study of the Torah.');">¹³</span> shalt thou not be exalted?<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Gen. IV, 7; sc. above the Evil Desire.');">¹⁴</span> But if ye do not occupy yourselves with the Torah, ye shall be delivered into his hand, for it is written, sin coucheth at the door.<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Gen. IV, 7; so the E.V. Possibly the Talmud translates: at the door of sin-i.e., when one yields to the Evil Desire - one lies lost - i.e., becomes its slave.');">¹⁵</span>

ואמר ר"ש בן לוי יצרו של אדם מתגבר עליו בכל יום ומבקש המיתו שנאמר (תהלים לז, לב) צופה רשע לצדיק ומבקש להמיתו ואלמלא הקב"ה עוזרו אין יכול לו שנאמר אלהים לא יעזבנו בידו

Moreover, he is altogether preoccupied with thee [to make thee sin], for it is said, and unto thee shall be his desire.<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Ibid.');">¹⁶</span> Yet if thou wilt, thou canst rule over him, for it said, and thou shalt rule over him.<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Ibid.');">¹⁶</span> Our Rabbis taught: The Evil Desire is hard [to bear], since even his Creator called him evil, as it is writt for that the desire of man's heart is evil from his youth.<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Gen. VIII, 21.');">¹⁷</span>

תנא דבי ר' ישמעאל בני אם פגע בך מנוול זה משכהו לבית המדרש אם אבן הוא נימוח ואם ברזל הוא מתפוצץ שנאמר (ירמיהו כג, כט) הלא כה דברי כאש נאם ה' וכפטיש יפוצץ סלע אם אבן הוא נימוח שנאמר (ישעיהו נה, א) הוי כל צמא לכו למים ואומר (איוב יד, יט) אבנים שחקו מים

R'Isaac said: Man's Evil Desire renews itself daily against him, as it is said, [every imagination of the thoughts of his heart] was only evil every day.<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Ibid. VI, 5.');">¹⁸</span> And R'Simeon B'Levi<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' In Suk. ');">¹⁹</span> said: Man's Evil Desire gathers strength against him daily and seeks to slay him, for it is said: The wicked watcheth the righteous, and seeketh to slay him;<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Ps. XXXVII, 32.');">²⁰</span>

להשיאו אשה מנלן דכתיב (ירמיהו כט, ו) קחו נשים והולידו בנים ובנות וקחו לבניכם נשים ואת בנותיכם תנו לאנשים

and were not the Holy One, blessed be He, to help him [man], he would not be able to prevail against him, for it is said: The Lord will not leave him in his hand.<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Ibid. 33.');">²¹</span> The School of R'Ishmael taught: My son, if this repulsive [wretch]<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' The Evil Desire.');">²²</span> assail thee, lead him to the schoolhouse: if he is of stone, he will dissolve; if iron, he will shiver [into fragments], for it is said: Is n word like as fire?

בשלמא בנו בידו אלא בתו בידו היא הכי קאמר להו ניתן לה מידי ולבשייה ונכסייה כי היכי דקפצו עלה אינשי

saith the Lord,' and like a hammer that breaketh the rock in pieces?<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Jer. XXIII, 29.');">²³</span> If he is of stone, he will dissolve, for it is written: Ho, everyone that thirsteth, come ye to the waters;<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Isa. LV, 1; i.e., the Torah.');">²⁴</span> and it is said: The waters wear the stones.<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Job XIV, 19.');">²⁵</span>

ללמדו אומנות מנלן אמר חזקיה דאמר קרא (קהלת ט, ט) ראה חיים עם אשה אשר אהבת אם אשה ממש היא כשם שחייב להשיאו אשה כך חייב ללמדו אומנות אם תורה היא כשם שחייב ללמדו תורה כך חייב ללמדו אומנות

'To take a wife for him.' How do we know it? - Because it is written: Take ye wives, and beget sons and daughters; and take wives for your sons, and give your daughters to husbands.<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Jer. XXIX, 6.');">²⁶</span> As for [marrying] his son, it is well, for it rests with him;<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Lit., 'it is in his hand'- one can always find a bride for his son.');">²⁷</span>

ויש אומרים אף להשיטו בנהר מאי טעמא חיותיה הוא

but with respect to his daughter, does it then rest with him?<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' One cannot easily obtain a husband for his daughter. How then does Jeremiah say, and give your daughters to husbands?');">²⁸</span> - This is his meaning: Let her be dowered, clothed and adorned, that men should eagerly desire her.<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Lit., 'spring upon her'.');">²⁹</span> 'To teach him a craft.'

רבי יהודה אומר כל שאינו מלמדו אומנות מלמדו ליסטות ליסטות ס"ד אלא כאילו מלמדו ליסטות

Whence do we know it? - Said Hezekiah: Scripture saith, See to a livelihood with the wife whom thou lovest.<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Ecc. IX, 9.');">³⁰</span> If 'wife' is literal, [this teaches,] just as he [the father] is bound to take a wife for him, so bound to teach him a craft [for a livelihood]; if it is [a metaphor for] Torah, then just as he is bound to teac him Torah, so is he bound to teach him a craft.' And some say, [He must teach him] to swim in water too.

מאי בינייהו איכא בינייהו דאגמריה עיסקא

What is the reason? - His life may depend on it. R'Judah said: He who does not teach him a craft teaches him brigandage. "Brigandage"! can you think so? - But it is like teaching him brigandage'. Wherein do they differ? - They differ where he teaches him business.<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' The first Tanna, though mentioning a craft, merely desires a means of livelihood, and includes business too. But R. Judah's emphasis on a craft shews that he does not consider business sufficient. - In a country living by agriculture and industry R. Judah thought commerce too precarious. V. Krauss, T.A. 250-252 on trade. He makes the interesting point (p. 252) that whilst reference is frequently made to a po'el batel kyc kgup , an unemployed landworker, one never hears of an unemployed artisan.');">³¹</span>

כל מצות האב על הבן וכו' מאי כל מצות האב על הבן אילימא כל מצותא דמיחייב אבא למיעבד לבריה נשים חייבות והתניא האב חייב בבנו למולו ולפדותו אביו אין אמו לא

BUT ALL OBLIGATIONS OF THE FATHER UPON THE SON etc. , What is meant by 'ALL OBLIGATIONS OF THE FATHER UPON THE SON? Shall we say, all precepts which the father is bound to perform for his son - are then women bound thereby? But it was taught: 'The father is obliged in respect of his son, to circumcise and redeem him': only the father, but not the mother? - Said Rab Judah, This is its meaning: All precepts concerning a father, which are incumbent upon a son to perform for his father, both men and women are bound thereby.

אמר רב יהודה הכי קאמר כל מצות האב המוטלת על הבן לעשות לאביו אחד אנשים ואחד נשים חייבין תנינא להא דת"ר איש אין לי אלא איש אשה מנין כשהוא אומר תיראו הרי כאן שנים

We have [thus] learnt here what our Rabbis taught: [Ye shall fear every man his father, and his mother]:<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Lev. XIX, 3.');">³²</span> 'man,'I know it only of man; how do I know it of woman?<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' That a daughter too must fear her parents.');">³³</span> When it is said: 'Ye shall fear,' two are mentioned.

א"כ מה ת"ל איש איש סיפק בידו לעשות אשה אין סיפק בידה לעשות מפני שרשות אחרים עליה אמר רב אידי בר אבין אמר רב נתגרשה שניהם שוים

If so, why state man? A man possesses the means to fulfil this, but a woman has no means of fulfilling this, because she is under the authority of others.<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Viz., her husband, who may render it impossible for her to shew due reverence to her parents.');">³⁴</span> R'Idi B'Abin said in Rab's name: If she is divorced, both are equal.<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' The duty rests upon her just as much as upon her brother.');">³⁵</span>

ת"ר נאמר (שמות כ, יב) כבד את אביך ואת אמך ונאמר (משלי ג, ט) כבד את ה' מהונך השוה הכתוב כבוד אב ואם לכבוד המקום

Our Rabbis taught: It is said: Honour thy father and thy mother;<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Ex. XX, 12.');">³⁶</span> and it is also said: Honour the Lord with thy substance:<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Prov. III, 9.');">³⁷</span> thus the Writ assimilates the honour due to parents to that of the Omnipresent.

נאמר (ויקרא יט, ג) איש אמו ואביו תיראו ונאמר (דברים ו, יג) את ה' אלהיך תירא ואותו תעבוד השוה הכתוב מוראת אב ואם למוראת המקום

It is said: 'Ye shall fear every man his father, and his mother'; and it is also said: The Lord thy God thou shalt fear, and him thou shalt serve;<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Deut. VI, 13.');">³⁸</span> thus the Writ assimilates the fear of parents to the fear of God. It is said: And he that curseth his father, or his mother, shall surely be p to death;<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Ex. XXI, 17.');">³⁹</span>

נאמר (שמות כא, יז) מקלל אביו ואמו מות יומת ונאמר (ויקרא כד, טו) איש איש כי יקלל אלהיו ונשא חטאו השוה הכתוב ברכת אב ואם לברכת המקום אבל בהכאה ודאי אי אפשר

and it is also said: Whosoever curseth his God shall bear his sin:<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Lev. XXIV, 15.');">⁴⁰</span> thus the Writ assimilates the blessing<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' A euphemism for cursing.');">⁴¹</span> of parents to that of the Omnipresent.

וכן בדין ששלשתן שותפין בו ת"ר שלשה שותפין הן באדם הקב"ה ואביו ואמו בזמן שאדם מכבד את אביו ואת אמו אמר הקב"ה מעלה אני עליהם כאילו דרתי ביניהם וכבדוני

But in respect of striking, it is certainly impossible.<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' To assimilate them, for the Almighty cannot be struck.');">⁴²</span> And that is but logical,<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' That parents should be likened to the Almighty.');">⁴³</span> since the three<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' God, father and mother.');">⁴⁴</span>

תניא רבי אומר גלוי וידוע לפני מי שאמר והיה העולם שבן מכבד את אמו יותר מאביו מפני

are partners in him [the son]. Our Rabbis taught: There are three partners in man, the Holy One, blessed be He, the father, and the mother. When a man honours his father and his mother, the Holy One, blessed be He, says: 'I ascribe [merit] to them as though I had dwelt among them and they had honoured Me.' It was taught: Rabbi said: It is revealed and known to Him Who decreed, and the world came into existence,<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Viz., God: this phrase is liturgical.');">⁴⁵</span> that a son honours his mother more than his father,