אמר ליה רב יעקב בר אבוה לאביי כגון אנא דעד דאתינא מבי רב אבא מדלי לי כסא ואמא מזגה לי היכי איעביד א"ל מאמך קביל ומאבוך לא תקבל דכיון דבר תורה הוא חלשה דעתיה
R'Jacob B'Abbahu asked Abaye: 'I, for instance, for whom my father pours out a cup [of wine] and my mother mixes it<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Their wines were diluted, being too strong to be drunk neat.');"><sup>5</sup></span> on my returning from the school, what am I to do'?<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Am I to permit it, or do I fail in the honour due to them?');"><sup>6</sup></span> - 'Accept it from your mother,' he replied: 'but not from your father; for since he is a scholar, he may feel affronted.'<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Though he loves you and does it willingly, he may feel that his son should not permit a scholar to perform these services for him.');"><sup>7</sup></span>
Rashi on Kiddushin
[Regarding one] such as I: Since I am beloved to my father and precious to my mother - so they do this from me - what should I do?
Ask RabbiBookmarkShareCopy
Rashi on Kiddushin
Since he is a Torah scholar he will be disheartened: If you accept service from him.
Ask RabbiBookmarkShareCopy
Daf Shevui to Kiddushin
R. Ya’akov b. Abahu’s parents honor him by pouring him wine even before he comes home. But can he accept such an honor? Abaye says that he may accept it from his mother, but not his father, for his father is also a Torah scholar. We can sense here the tension between the honor due a person because he is a scholar, and the honor due a person as a parent. R. Ya’akov is a scholar, and thus his parents honor him. But they are his parents, and he should honor them. The solution is that he may indeed accept this honor from them, but only if it does not at the same time dishonor his father as a scholar.
