Musar for Berakhot 86:8
ואמר רב זוטרא בר טוביה אמר רב ואמרי לה אמר רב חנא בר ביזנא אמר רבי שמעון חסידא ואמרי לה אמר רבי יוחנן משום רבי שמעון בן יוחי נוח לו לאדם שיפיל עצמו לתוך כבשן האש ואל ילבין פני חברו ברבים מנלן מתמר שנאמר (בראשית לח, כה) היא מוצאת וגו':
Rab Zotra b. Tobiah also said in the name of Rab (another version : Rab Hanna b. Bizna in the name of R. Simeon Hasida ; still another version : R. Johanan said in the name of R. Simeon b. Johai) : It were better for a man to cast himself into the midst of a fiery furnace rather than cause the face of his fellow-creature to blanche in public. Whence is this derived ? From Tamar ; as it is said, "When she was brought forth" etc. (Gen. xxxviii. 25).
Orchot Tzadikim
And one should be very careful not to shame any man for the Sages said: "He who whitens (shames) the face of another in public has no portion in the world to come" (Baba Mezià 59a). To whiten another's face is like murder, for the red departs and the white comes (thus one is spilling the blood of the shamed one within him) (Ibid., 58b). And the Sage said further: The pain of shame is worse than death. A person should allow himself to be burnt alive and not shame his fellow in public. And they learned this from Tamar who, even though they brought her forth to be burned, did not want to shame Judah (Berakoth 43b). And even when you are required to rebuke another the Torah says: "You shall surely rebuke your neighbor and not bear sin because of him" (Lev. 19:17). How shall you rebuke? At first, secretly and gently. However if you rebuke him at the beginning in public and shame him, then you have sinned because of this, (Arakin 16b). And this is all the more true where one shames another where no rebuke is called for.
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